A food processor : A first?!

This week I bought a food processor.

It was a first because it was the first major thing I bought for my mother's kitchen.

For sometime, I have been experimenting with cooking classes. I thought it might be good to go to a knife skills class and then I realised that as I don't cook fish (don't particularly like it) and am unlikely to want to dismember a chicken. What I tend to use knives for are onions, mushrooms, carrots. Yes, vegetables. Do I need a course for that? No. It was cheaper to buy a food-processor.

Why is it a first? I have bought a food processor before but this time it was for my Mother's kitchen. It was the first major purchase for her kitchen.

I have been cooking in her kitchen all my life but since she died it's been where I have been doing the bulk of the cooking as it's been no fun cooking in mine for some time. After she died it was basics as it was for my father who likes straight forward meat and potatoes whether it be fillet steak or sausages. Chicken is fine but stews are tolerated. Potatoes are preferred.

Recently things have progressed and flavour is dominant. Last time I asked, "something I wouldn't normally have". We are never going to go down the chinese, vegetarian and soup route but at least my cooking is different from ready-meals, smoked salmon & boiled eggs.

It's strange being in charge of my Mother's kitchen. I use her radio, her knives, the wonky beater. I know how to bake her apple-cake. I use puff pastry for mince pies as she did. Over the years I have made several meals there and have been responsible for Christmas lunches. We've had loads of meals there. I have cooked for dinner parties. But the kitchen is not a place for being morbid because you need it to eat. There are more ready meals and things in the freezer.

Over the last few months I have started to enjoy cooking again but baking more. I know that a food processor will be used. Gradually the kitchen is feeling more like more like my space. I got rid of things I would never use. Surprisingly getting rid of a few things, made better use of space. It's my choice of recipes. I still haven't been through her files of newspaper cuttings. 

It will never be my kitchen but I am enjoying doing my own thing and with the food processor have put my first stamp on it.

Two Choirs : My 2nd first

Everyone Sang

Everyone suddenly burst out singing;

And I was filled with such delight

As prisoned birds must find in freedom,

Winging wildly across the white

Orchards and dark-green fields; on - on - and out of sight.

Everyone's voice was suddenly lifted;

And beauty came like the setting sun:

My heart was shaken with tears; and horror

Drifted away ... O, but Everyone

Was a bird; and the song was wordless; the singing will never be done.

Siegfried Sassoon 1919

Siegfried Sassoon wrote this following the Armstice. He had been a soldier, an anti-war protester and an acclaimed war poet. He wrote later how the words had come to him. Perhaps they are an expression of the end of war or inspired by the singing in the trenches but it is a poem that has always resonated with me. Music and singing in particular can be comforting but can also encompass sorrow or, in this case, horror and when you share the emotions via music rather than another person they can be magnified, triggered and sometimes dispersed.

I joined Kensington Singers a few months after my Mother died. I had been thinking about joining a choir since stopping shiftwork. Unemployment, loneliness and the need for belonging to a group prompted me to get on with it. My criteria were simple. No auditions, friendly, near home & not on a Tuesday (clash with Portuguese classes). Kensington on paper (sorry web-page) met all of these plus the web-site said pub afterwards. Now I wasn't in the mood for the pub afterwards & a few years on, I still haven't been but I reckoned that a choir who makes a point of this must be friendly.

When you join a choir, one of the things is that you have a responsibility to the other members and the choir director (Hannah Brine in our case). There are the common things like being on time, remembering your music, helping set up and putting things away. You should also do your homework. Hannah records MP3s for each song and each part. This could be up to 8 if each of the parts split (soprano, alto, tenor, bass). She also sends round a newsletter highlighting what we have done each week and what we should work on for the next week and there is also a concert at the end of each term. This means that you need to spend time outside of the rehearsals practising and getting to know the songs.

For the first term, I failed miserably to do this for about 7 weeks. I was enjoying the new experience of being part of the group but it wasn't working for me. Then I tried to get my mind around a complex arrangement of A Partridge in a Pear Tree. I started crying and I realised that I was struggling because I couldn't face Christmas as my Mother had left such a hole in our family and she so enjoyed Christmas. 2017 was better but again I struggled in 2018 as not only did my Aunt leave another massive hole in our lives but 22nd December was the anniversary of her death.

But still I persisted. Spring and Summer terms have been fantastic. (with the possible exception of singing "Requiem" in the first rehearsal of the term following my aunt's death!).We've sung so much with a great range of genres and works by Eric Whittaker, Bob Chilcott, Billy Joel, arrangements by the King Singers and songs from musicals incluing Sunday in the Park with George. My favourite has to be Baba Yetu from the video game Civilizatin IV. This led to an invitation to sing the Napa High School Alumni Choir at St John's Smith Square. 

A huge highlight for me was being part of the hastily put together WI Choir to perform at the Olivier Awards at the Royal Albert Hall. (spoiler : there isn't a WI choir). We were the choir accompanying the stars and writers of the musical Calendar Girls. We sang Yorkshire. It's not the greatest song ever written but I have now performed with the legendary Gary Barlow! Waiting to make our entrance I was lucky to be at the door where many of the stars came in including Glenda Jackson, Ian MacKellan, Brian May and his wife Anita Dobson. I had the pleasure of singing to the back of Mark Rylance's head. If I had been on the lefthand side of our entry, it could have been Andrew Lloyd-Webber. No pressure!

Why two choirs? I decided last Summer to try Sing Broadway at Citylit. I like Citylit (more another time) and thoroughly enjoyed it. I liked singing with a different group, was slightly scared at doing a solo number for the first time. I discovered I thrived from group dynamics, I can deliver a performance but my sense of timing is dreadful.

Working part-time, I don't do Mondays. Other people may not like them but I don't do them so I decided to try out the lunchtime choir. The first week it worked out fine. The repertoire works for me. One hour at lunch and then 2 in the evening is fun. Different styles but similar techniques. New group. I think it will be just fine.

The 1st first : The Wallace Collection

I have spent most of life in London but I had never been to the Wallace Collection. I am not sure why as I grew up going to art collections. We live close to Dulwich and I went to school there so have been a frequent visitor to Dulwich Gallery all my life. When travelling, Vel I go to galleries and museums including smaller collections such as the Frick. There is no excuse, no logical explanation so last week I went.

My first problem was finding it. This is nothing to do with the Wallace Collection - it's clear on their web-site, it's a significant building. This was my fault. I had assumed it was another building just north of Bond Street. Oops! This meant I arrived later than intended but did get to explore St Christopher's Place which is a surprise of smaller establishments in contrast to the monoliths of the Oxford Street department stores.

I thoroughly enjoyed my brief visit to the Wallace Collection. It's another gem built up by a family with a very good eye and I think these collections are the most special. There's a link between the pictures and it's not overwhelming as the big institutions. (The only time I have been seriously lost in the US is when I have been trying to find the exit in the New York Metropolitan Museum).

Before going, I knew about the Laughing Cavalier by Frans Hals I did not know about the Rembrandts, Velasquez, Van Dykes. There is an awful lot of armour and I am afraid that that is one collection I can live without. Dulwich of course has Rembrandts and for a while I was growing up when the local joke was "are the Rembrandts in or out?" Not because they were on loan but because they kept getting stolen. There was also one trip to New York when my Mother and I made our regular pilgrimage to the Frick only to find there was a temporary exhibition from Dulwich and the poster girl was the Rembrandt of a girl.

Back to the Wallace. Oddly one of the pictures that immediately jumped out at me was a version of Velasquez' the Infanta. The light was a delight. Also lovely to see a focus on the Infanta after seeing Picasso's interpretation in Barcelona.

I have always had a soft spot for Hals. He has a way of letting you identify with his subjects. I am not sure his Cavalier is laughing but he certainly has a twinkle in his eye and was probably very good company. If you go to the National Gallery and see his portrait of a family which is so human.

But yes it is Rembrandt that for me is the star. Look at his thoughtful picture of his son. His self-portrait isn't the greatest I have ever seen but it is unmistakable. His portraits in the Great Hall are terrific.

Lots of small details. A Fragonard, Whistler doing a photo-shop version of George IV. Delicate pieces of furniture.

It may have been the first time I have been but I am already planning to go back.

52 ways of banishing ghosts or a year of getting a life

'Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt about that.'

A Christmas Carol. In many ways my life over the last year has been dominated by what I have been calling ghosts. In the last 3.5 years, I have been made redundant, had a short term contract end just as my Mother died. A period of unemployment followed by the job that nightmares are made of. This has been accompanied by the death of both of my mother's sisters within 18 months and the sale of my Aunt's house, next door to my Father's. He is fine but a grumpy 84 year old. I also have a flat that needs gutting, rewiring that I fell write aboutout of love when upstairs' washing machine started backing up into my kitchen so I guess you could say that my life has not been exactly a bed of roses.

Written like that, it seems as though life has been all doom and gloom but it's not. I have a part-time job that I enjoy, I've started new things, got capital and have used one of the things I have inherited from the relatives - resilience. I am unmarried and an only child but very lucky to have good friends and wonderful cousins.

And yet - of course things get me down. I need to challenge myself, do new things, explore a new life. But I can't drop everything and go round the world because I haven't got that much capital and whilst fit, Grumpy (my Father) does like me dividing my time between my flat and his house. To be honest, I like spending time at his house too particularly as it has been a home to me since I was 13.

There are times when I have felt that life is dominated by ghosts. memories of things I did with my Mother, places I have visited, family times, experiences at work, weird and exciting shifts. I miss the eccentric independent life I used to have.

I have never been one to do New Year's Resolutions. After all, what's the point of trying to lose weight or do loads of exercise at the time of year (at least in Northern Europe) when it's dark, cold and miserable. Why add more of that to your life and condemn yourself to fail.

I do however believe in challenges. This year I am challenging myself to do one new thing every week and to write about it. They aren't going to be the big things. Colleagues have registered to do the Challenge 42 and go up Tower 42 or the NatWest Tower as I used to know it. I am not that crazy and besides I did a lot of those stairs in my twenties when I worked for NatWest Corporate Banking or NatWest Markets as it became. Walking down 29 flights was tough enough on the knees! Let's face it, when you go uphill you at least get to enjoy the view but you don't on those stairs.

I digress. My new things are going to be smaller, it could be the new term at choir, a new recipe, knitting technique, a new walk. It can be things I am already doing but a new chapter or perhaps a new book.

What brought this on? Some incredible lows over the last 2 months. It's a year since my Aunt died on 22nd December after a stroke on my cousin's birthday. Struggles with my Father over relatively small things and a huge issue over Christmas Day. To take my mind off things and have a break over the miserable Christmas period, I booked a weekend in Paris. I've been to Paris several times. I could spend so many weekends over there, not because I particularly like the city but because of the cultural jewels. Let's face it, it's a lot closer than New York! This time I decided I wanted to see the Blue and Pink period Picasso exhibition & the Impressionist & Neo-Impressionist rehang at the Musee d'Orsay & the Fauvist exhibition at the Marmottan which featured works in private collections.

I went to book the hotel in the Bastille area which I have stayed at several times but then I stopped. Why? I wasn't going to the opera this time, I didn't need to go back to the restaurants in the area, I didn't have to go back. I went for somewhere new on the Left Bank. To be honest, I think the hotel I stayed at, whilst lovely, was probably over priced for what it offered but Location, Location, Location costs. It was absolutely the right thing to do! I came back with a sense of peace from the Marmotten and joy in the Signacs and the Seurats looking so much happier on the top floor of the Orsay. I laughed when I got involved in a conversation with a Portuguese waiter and then forgot which language I was supposed to be speaking. I had switched off and relaxed.

This is what I want to continue this year so I am going to be writing about the new things in my life this year and possibly some old ones. I might even try and write about the love-hate I have with Picasso[s paintings.

Au revoir pour ce soir.

What to wear to a sporting event

At the World Athletics championships, I noted that there were a variety of t-shirts worn.

There were some specifically supporting an athlete or team that had been specifically designed, many supporting a national team and also t-shirts for a specific sporting event. We had the new Team GB t-shirts and those for the IAAF championships but many wore others. Team GB from earlier events, London 2012 t-shirts, general and Team GB. I probably got the prize for showing off the most. I wore my team Brasil for day 1, Rio Olympics for day2 & a non-marked Rio Olympics one.

I got a couple of smiles and surprised looks from a couple of members of the Brasilian team as I wondered round but otherwise no comments.

Now if you go to a football match, you are expected to wear your team's colours. You need to show which tribe your allegiance is with. What do you do if you are neutral? In England you work out which stand you are in and make sure you don't wear the other team's colours.

In Rio, I found it was very interesting. if I wore a tribal t-shirt I immediately spoke to other Brits but dressed neutrally then I got talking to some very interesting people. In the end I compromised, I wore a neutral or Rio t-shirt around the grounds but if I was joining in a tribal event such as the cycling I got changed at the venue.

You get a lot from being a member of the tribe at a sporting event. You share, you shout, you laugh, you cry with your team but you get a lot without it. New friends and the ability to cheer for another team,

A friend of mine and I went to the GBvs Brazil women's football at London 2012. I didn't wear a t-shirt that reflected either nationality. This was just as well as I found myself cheering for both sides and getting some very funny looks!

What do you wear for a sporting event? I wear a t-shirt, take socks in case of cold feet, a skirt, shorts or trousers that are long enough to cover that plastic seat & enjoy cheering for whoever puts on the best performance!  

PS Change to sweater for Winter event, plan for wet weather and consider a hat!

Why I believe America is already great (but nobody's perfect) by a Brit

I have had a love affair with the USA since I was a child. We lived in New York when I was a baby and it was a city that was so good that my parents never had a harsh word to say about it. My Aunt did the Greyhound bus as she travelled around in 1968 visiting hospitals as she researched renal treatment before setting up a unit in London.  As a child, I watched the US cartoons, I read their children's books. Nancy Drew, the Bobbsey twins, Sue Barton, Cherry Ames, they were as familiar to me as the Chalet School and Malcolm Saville.

I was part of the Americas living in Brasil and we had American friends and American imports. It was a county I felt I knew intimately except I didn't visit until I was 10 for Disneyworld and then I went round the States on a greyhound bus with the odd plane thrown in. It felt as though I was at home in Seattle and New York, Washington was extraordinary. The South was a foreign county, Texas spoke a foreign language (and I don't mean Spanish) while the Midwest was open and stunning. I did the tourist things.

Later I mourned the Twin Towers, celebrated the end of the Cold War, admired the Democracy and discovered Amtrak. America was great for me.

There are few countries that can have America's record on democracy -  a tradition of a President handing peacefully to the next. A Congress, a senate and a judiciary separated from each other and th Executive designed for checks and balances. A nation that believed in 'Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness'.

It's a country that has great respect for its history, the Presidency, the Stars and Stripes. Few countries can get away with their leaders instinctively saying 'God Bless America' and you know it's sincere. There is a delight in success and an inate belief in righteous and patriotism that in this country would feel insincere, be mocked or talked down. In America it feels right.

And yet now Trump wants to make America great again. Why?

Culturally the USA is magnificent. It has Hollywood, independent filmmakers, superb television drama, music from Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, American Idol stars. It has created its own genres in jazz, the blues and rock while continuing the country tradition. It's justly famous orchestras and opera houses are privately funded.

Environmentally, think of the natural landscapes, the oceans, the Great Lakes. The National Parks founded as early as the 19th century. There is freedom to hunt and fish, hike and camp. That's before you think about the extremes of Alaska, the Florida keys, Yosemite, Niagara.

Economically it's been strong. Independence Movement 'no taxation without representation', oil, coal, nuclear, Natural resources aplenty and a workforce with an entrepreneurial edge. A rewards culture and a belief in the American dream. A land of plenty and a land of immigration.

The land of the free. The land of the immigrant, the land that welcomed the Irish when they were starving, the land that welcomed the Poles when they had nothing, the land that welcomed Russian refugees, the land that provided a sanctuary for the Jews when they had none.

And yet it has never been without its flaws.

Early wealth was built on slavery. Michelle Obama, a descendant of slaves, talked about living in a White House that was build by slaves.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President by the electoral college but the Southern States were not part of their that and their cessation led to the bloody civil war from which there could really be no winers. In the rebuilding of the Union the first Civil Rights Act was later condemned by the Supreme Court as unconstituenal.

During the period of industrialisation, the native Americans were driven from their homelands, Rockefeller bankrupted the competion while building his empire, Frick's Art Collection is now a gallery and the Carnegie Foundation has done countless good and the Rockefellers went on to public service.

Was American great in 1930s following the Wall Street Crash of 1929. Few would say so. Prohibition was inglorious. Roosevelt supported the war effort but American would only declare war onnce Japan had attacked Pearl Harbour yet that was a war to challenge Hitler and Stalin. Did Truman have to drop bombs on both Hiroshima and Nagasaki or was that a way to prove military superiority to USSR?

1950s saw economic development but the liberal wing was persecuted by Anti-American McCarthy who included Robert Kennedy on his committee.

1960s - a glamorous age of Camelot and space travel but an era of protest against segregation and for Civil Rights. An age of assassination with the loss of John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy and many whose names are unknown to all but their families as they stood up for what they believed in.It was an age of protest against the draft and Vietnam. Was America great?

1970s saw shame in the impeachment of Nixon yet it was prosperous. It was the age of protest for women's rights. Can a country be truly great if it treats a large proportion of society as second class citizens and denies full health-care. It was the age of 3 mile island, a misjudgement on Iran.

Perhaps Trump wants to take USA back to 1980s? An age of deregulation, no gun control and the loss of more citizens including John Lennon and countless others. it was the age of Challenger and the Iran Contra affair. The USA invaded Grenada. Was it right to do so? California saw the spread of AIDS which became global.

1990s and the end of the Cold War. Washington saw its share of disgrace through Mr Clinton but while America liberated Kuwait did it do enough? Race Riots in Los Angeles and bombings in Oklahoma and the World Trade Centre. 'Don't ask, Don't tell' Openly gay or bisexual people forbidden from serving in the military. Colombine High School & Waco questions gun control. In contrast, Dunblane and Hungerford puts a stranglehold on British gun ownership.

From 2001 America has had the shadow of the 9/11 bombings hanging over it. the existence of Guantanmo and waterboarding leave me uneasy. The invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan without a reconstruction plan and now Syria has left the word a poorer place.

And yet, America is a great country. Its industrial past may be rusting, its people have suffered foreclosures and racial abuse. There are too many victims of gun crime but

There is an energy and a self-belief that is second to none, a friendliness that has spread customer service and 'have a good day' around the world. It may have its flaws but 'quite frankly ... I don't give a damn' and after all 'nobody's perfect'!

President Trump, you do America a disservice. it's not needed to make America great again. In my biased opinion it already  is and righly there are celebrations every 4th July.

"We believe that these truths are self-evident and that we are endowed by the Creator with certain unalienable rights and that amongst these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

"Yes we can. Yes we did."

God bless the United States of America.

New Avenues

For the last few months I've been focusing on trying to get a similar job in the arts. The problem is that there aren't very many and it is highly competitive. I've been unsuccessful.

Over the years I've had a few setbacks. A lack of confidence crept in. As I got nervous my verbal diarrhea set in. I got worse. I did an interviews course and that helped as the next job I went for I got. I also felt I had nothing to lose as I'd just been made redundant on the back of a terrible interview. The problem recurred when I went for the interview which would have made the job permanent. At that stage I was pretty relaxed as I felt that I'd got loads of experience in the year and that something would work out. I subsequently discovered that bereavement and job-hunting don't mix. Neither does job-hunting and heavy colds.

The will to go job-hunting is subsumed by supporting the family. The focus isn't there during interviews. The confidence is knocked. And then it happened, I got an interview, I didn't get it but the reason was that my skillset wasn't right, I apparently was terrific. I did have a little cry but it boosted my confidence so I'm now looking different avenues.

I had the courage to tweet about job-hunting, I'm writing this. I've also cast my net a little wider. I've got an interview for a commercial company for a more junior post. I've been contacted by an agency, I've got a presence on Linkedin. I'm back.

What I would say though is that recruiters seem to forget what it's like to apply. I applied for a job before Christmas and still haven't heard anything. This employer is totally mechanised and I know off the record that the position was offered before Christmas. There are employers that say due to the number of applicants they won't reply unless you have an interview but don't tell you the timescale. I can sympathise up to a point but it costs nothing to send an email and generates goodwill. I won't be applying for another job with the first company I mentioned given that it is the 2nd time I've witnessed this treatment. Neither will I be in a hurry to give it my trade.